Cravings and Sleep

Dear Little One ~

A few mornings ago, as I pulled out of the driveway on my way to work, I was hit with a wave of nautiousness.  I chuckled to myself, and made note that I must eat before leaving the house not after arriving at work.  So I did just that the next morning, which didn't go over too well with my tummy.  Again, I chuckled, but not comfortably.

I wonder if the food changes I'm going through now are going to end up being some of your likes and dislikes as you grow?  If so, you sure have healthy tastes!

You don't care for sweets really.  Although you do like a little dark chocolate, but not much.

You absolutely don't like soda.  You DO enjoy mineral water.

Eggs over toast is out.  Cheese is tollerable.  Sandwiches aren't really cared for (so no more subway for me really).

You love fruits and vegetables, and rice as well.

Hands down, the favorite is Sushi!!  Every day, these last few days, I have had an order.  Mmmmm, so delicious!  I am not eating any raw fish, just the california roll, but sooooo yummy.  For a handful of days I craved it and finally felt comfort in my tummy once I went ahead and tried these, crossed with... mineral water :) 

I realized tonight, that although you don't care for sweets really, you do enjoy the salt.... soy on the sushi :)

A craving I certainly don't mind, and Jonah has announced he is VERY excited about "this baby", for who you are of course, but also because since my craving is sushi that means he will more often then not be getting it too! LOL

My sleep schedule has changed as well.  No more staying up crazy hours.  I have been taking a nap almost every day since a few days after I found out you were on your way, and bed time is early.... 8pm or so.  My body seems to be sucking up as much sleep as it can get since you are growing.

How life is created, and how a whole 'nother body can grow a new human being just amazes me.

I feel down where you are and smile.  You are in there.  You are growing.

Your heart should have started beating by now :)

You're on your way!

Dear Little Dragon ~

It's been a while since I've written to you.  As the first month came, and I felt you were there... and then felt you slip away, and AF arrived quite late, my heart sunk.  The second month brought no sense of any conception, and AF was right on time.  As we stepped in to this month, I felt distant.  I was comfortable continuing month to month until your time came, but I silently wondered how long we would be waiting.  I thought back to the first month, and thought that if that baby stayed how far along in to the pregnancy I would be.

This month though was most important to me.  Ovulation happened on May Day, a special day, a day I hoped would give extra good luck for such an important month.  This month would be the last month that you would be born in the year of the dragon.... a water dragon.  I held my breath when the monitor turned positive the first day, and we sent many little dreams towards the egg in hopes you would be conceived.  The second day of the positive we sent more little dreams your way again.  And we hoped.

As I was more distant, maybe more of a sense at peace, or could have just been a "didn't want to get my hopes up", I waited much longer before picking up a pregnancy test.  I figured I'd just wait to see if AF arrived.  To help curb the urge, I was dipping an OPK test each morning since I needed to use up the rest of the pack of 20 anyway.  On May 12th though, Mothers Day, I woke up, dipped the stick, and saw an ever so slightly faint line.  Hmmmmm, I wondered.  I took the cup with me when meeting a friend to visit, and ended up deciding that yes, afterall, it was Mothers Day and if I was going to test today would be a sweet memorable day if it was afterall positive.

I drove to the store, with your sister, Emily, and Alyssa in the car.  I went in to Safeway and chose two boxes of two.  My mom text messaged wishing me a happy mothers day, and I told her I was buying pregnancy tests.  She sent a silly teasing response.  At the car I dipped the stick and set it down for Alyssa to watch, since it was interesting her quite a bit.

I expected it to be negative, but I hoped still.

Alyssa says, "I think I see a line!!!"

I looked, and sure enough there was the second line, clear as day.

My feet started stomping and I covered my mouth while I screamed.  "OMG! OMG! OMG!" I texted my mom.  She asked if she and my dad should call your dad and wish him a Happy Mothers Day :)  I wish they did, he has the sweetest heart like a mother.  You are very lucky, little dragon.

Once arriving home I took your sister, Emily, to the grass and handed her the pregnancy stick that screamed that you were on your way!  The first picture worked - the second picture she was giggling but still was oh.so.cute.  I messaged your dad.  I was so excited!! 

This was a moment I feel I have been waiting for for so long.  Not just three months, but since Emily was just a newborn and the consideration of you was there.  Most especially though, since last summer, 10 months ago, when I chose to stop working towards you for personal reasons.  When your dad waited so patiently for the months that followed, and when we could start trying for you again.  It's been so long in waiting for you, where each day the dream of you became more so.

I dipped a second pregnancy test later that day, and the second line was darker.  This is the test I gave to him when he arrived later in the evening.

Normal mama worries are there.  Will you continue to develop as you need to for you to continue growing in to a strong little baby?  I pray all continues as it needs to.  You mean so much to me.  Not just my dream, but all of ours.

I love you.  So very much.  To the end of the stars and back.

Our little Water Dragon <3  What a very special day!

The beautiful flowers and balloon your dad brought me