First steps set up

It's becoming more common for fertility clinics to require 6mo quarantine of sperm, and also where this quarantine time before use to be waved it's also becoming common where there is no way to wave this required time. Although we were directed by a lawyer before where we could do home insems with a medical professional in attendance who could notorize a statment saying no sexual contact took place, I knew that having a doctor singing off on IUIs (or even regular insems) would be best when it came to the courts. What I wasn't looking forward to was finding the clinic who would do this without the quarantine time.

When I was very uncertain that Shing was going to choose to have a baby this year, I went ahead and placed an ad on the surrogate website thinking that I may be able to help a couple in between.... maybe. I really wasn't too sure what I was going to do, but was one of those "put my feelers out there" moment. Although I didn't end up responding to the handful of people who responded to the ad, I did respond to Ashley. Not exactly sure what stood out with her, she was an agency and I wasn't too keen on working with one. There were other things too. But, she was the one and only I responded to. Through her I am now able to support a wonderful IF couple in the UK, and root them on with pure excitement. She also has been able to help offer some wonderful suggestions for Shing and I, one being a clinic to use.

With Shing's go ahead, I called them a few days ago to schedule a consultation appt. Scheduled for August 1st at 2pm. They do fresh IUIs with no quarantine.... it's still hard to believe, and I suppose I'll have to hear it from the doctor sitting there in person in front of me to believe it completely! I am so amazed, and grateful! Almost one of those "too good to be true" moments.

What to eat to conceive a boy

So with one boy (oldest) and SIX girls to follow, I wonder if any of it had to do with my diet?

They say that it is up to the father (x vs y chromosomes) , but I really have to wonder. For horses, I have been told by breeders that putting apple cider vinigar in to their water it helps to change the PH level in their body which is more welcoming for girl sperm.... and in turn they had a higher rate of female foals born.

Maybe my diet back when my son was conceived was filled more with foods I typically haven't eaten since then, or to the extent needed to have much of an impact... if this is true.

Something to look at :)

http://www.ehow.com/way_5420714_eat-conceive-boy.html

A boy vs girl

These last handful of weeks as I debated looking for a couple to help, thinking that Shing wasn't ready yet and wouldn't most likely be for a while, there's one thing that I struggled the most with. What if that child ended up being a boy?

I've read about surrogates who have all of one sex (boy/girl) and always wanted the other, and faced their own disappointments when the child they have for another is the boy/girl they had hoped to have one day.

When I first started in the surro-world, I had one of each. A boy and a girl. I was so proud! Then came my first surro-daughter, Mimi, she was so beautiful and perfect and a dream come true for her parents. When I found out that the next child, for my family, was a girl, I felt heartbreak. Mimi was my baby girl. Seems odd really, she wasn't "my" child so why would I feel sadness that a child meant for my family would step in front of that? It doesn't make much sense to me now, although I do understand the reasons, but back then it's what I felt.

I went on to have another TS child, a girl. And then again another, a girl, a sibling for Mimi. I had really hoped that Mimi would have a sister since she lives in a houseful of boys, and was so pleased when the ultrasound tech announced the bouncing little baby inside of me was a girl. Her dad was disappointed, he had hoped for a boy.

Why worry about having a boy now? In the surrogate world, the parents you are helping can promise the world in regards to contact but disappear after they have their child - or even a handful of years in the future. It really depends what they feel is best for their family, contact is just a gift they give and to what extent, if any, is up to them.

But ohhhh - if Shing does decide to have a child, how amazing it would be to have a baby boy this time. A brother to Emily. A son. Shing would have both a daughter and a son - well, so long as that's what he would like :) And me.... may not be a son to raise, but a son to love and cherish and watch grow. To hug and love, as a son. A little girl again would be just as precious, but a son? Ohhh *dreamy*

A glimmer of excitement!

Tonight Emily's dad shared his thoughts about possibly having a child afterall. I felt my heart skip and leap in complete excitement! I think I blabbered complete nonesense though following, as I felt like a jiberishly speaking whatnot. And then came the legalities, and I feel I spoke overwhelmingly :( I'm glad he has a good mind and stands on his own solid ground.

I'm also glad he shared his feelings tonight. Right after he messaged and I was swirling in complete joy, one friend/agency messaged asking if I had looked over the couple's profile she sent me. This was following more talk from another agency/matching place for the IFs, and being contacted by another couple.

As these potential couples sat there these last few days, I felt disappointment. I also felt hesitant. What if I went to work with one couple and Emily's dad decided to start sooner afterall? Emily's dad means the world to me, and it would please me to no end to be able to help bring his child here to him. What a dream, in so many ways.

The possibility has me squeeling in excitement inside, but the time to do backflips hasn't come yet. Emily's dad is smart, and he is being careful with is decision on becoming a full-time parent. I am excited to see what he decides in the end. For now though, it is nice to hold the possibility of helping a very dear friend. I suppose I am not looking elsewhere anymore.... and my heart is just fine with that :)

Starting the search

Dear little one -

Who are you? Are you meant to be? When I had Emily I didn't expect to be a surrogate again, even after her dad asked me about carrying a sibling for him. She was to be my last. The wonderment grew, but with him not quite ready, I wonder.... am I suppose to help another family? Are you suppose to be?

I have put my feelers out there, as I wonder.

I was told about two international hope-to-be fathers. They sound wonderful, but my heart felt hesitant. Not in a negative way, but rather almost as if I was betraying Emily's dad by looking in another direction even though he's not ready right now and isn't sure if and when he will be. He's such a wonderful man, and carries so many great qualities that make him a great dad.

I asked my two younger daughters today how they felt about me being a surrogate again, and they are fully supportive. I asked them if they felt that the children I carry for another family are their sister... without doubt, "yes". I am glad they're supportive, I wonder how my son will feel.

As I start the search as to who your parent/s are suppose to be, I still have a while before I am completely ready. All the babies that came before you have left me needing to work hard to be sure my weight and body are healthy and ready for you to grow inside. I think I still have nine months ahead of me, but in the surrogate world that a realistic time to patiently look and for all the searching, meeting, testing, contracts, and every other whatnot thing that needs to take place. Or should, anyway.

Are you out there? Do you know who your parent/s are?