Who are you? Are you meant to be? When I had Emily I didn't expect to be a surrogate again, even after her dad asked me about carrying a sibling for him. She was to be my last. The wonderment grew, but with him not quite ready, I wonder.... am I suppose to help another family? Are you suppose to be?
I have put my feelers out there, as I wonder.
I was told about two international hope-to-be fathers. They sound wonderful, but my heart felt hesitant. Not in a negative way, but rather almost as if I was betraying Emily's dad by looking in another direction even though he's not ready right now and isn't sure if and when he will be. He's such a wonderful man, and carries so many great qualities that make him a great dad.
I asked my two younger daughters today how they felt about me being a surrogate again, and they are fully supportive. I asked them if they felt that the children I carry for another family are their sister... without doubt, "yes". I am glad they're supportive, I wonder how my son will feel.
As I start the search as to who your parent/s are suppose to be, I still have a while before I am completely ready. All the babies that came before you have left me needing to work hard to be sure my weight and body are healthy and ready for you to grow inside. I think I still have nine months ahead of me, but in the surrogate world that a realistic time to patiently look and for all the searching, meeting, testing, contracts, and every other whatnot thing that needs to take place. Or should, anyway.
Are you out there? Do you know who your parent/s are?
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