Dear Little One ~

I have been so sleepy lately, and ended up sleeping again this afternoon while waiting for your big brother to finish working.  There is a sense of quietness, peace, I feel... in between maneuvering from the discomfort in my abdomen.  It seems to be more so at night right now ~ as I readjust again.

Tonight, when arriving home, I thought I'd test again with an OPK.  Not as if I thought I needed to check for ovulation, my body is clearly saying something is happening within it already, but I suppose it gave me a way to see if you were growing without actually testing with a pregnancy test (opk in place of hpt).  See, that's something I really wanted to be able to save for your dad, that special moment of seeing if you were there or not ~ if this month was your month. A visual to confirm what already feels to be so clearly so.

But there it was, a positive OPK.  In the picture here, the top top test was taken the day of the last insem, and for a few days following.  The 5th one I took a couple days ago, it's a tiny bit darker then the previous tests.  But tonight, there it was... a beautiful positive OPK.  I sat for a good 30min looking at it, debating - do I test with the pregnancy test that came with the OPK tests?  There was only one, but would it take away what I wanted your dad to be able to experience?  His text said to test, I still wasn't too sure.  In the end I did, while your big brother, Jonah, told me I was cheating :)  My reason though, was if it was so very clearly negative, then could I be ovulating?  If so, my body surely has itself completely confused.

Click on picture for larger view

As the test was in progress, Jonah says, "I see two lines!", although I wasn't so sure.  After 5min, I ended up standing on the toilet seat holding it as close to the light as I could.  I thought I could see a second line, but was I making things up because I so very much wanted it to be so?  Was it really there?

At the very top, it is starting, you can see it.... can you not see it?  Follow the test line from the test above down to the bottom test.  It's barely, but it is there, just starting.

Will it continue?  What is happening within my body feels to be so strong, with great energy, it sure doesn't feel like it's going anywhere.  But..... I still think your daddy should still watch the test himself Monday afternoon and see if the second line really is there :)