Sunday, March 11, 2012

Dreams

They say that dreams can tell the future, an insight, or something you should be aware of.  I enjoy my dreams, usually, so long as my children are safe within them.

Two days ago as I napped in the evening, I had a dream that my period arrived and in full force.  As I sit now, I am waiting for AF to show up, while I feel the cramping/aching symptoms as if it's right around the corner.  I hope it doesn't show and that it turns out I ovulated [again] with the positive, and our insems worked and I'm pregnant.  I'm dreaming though....

Last night I dreamed that I went ahead and took an OPK test, even with AF due and the last insems only a week ago, but it was also a pregnancy test.  A second line appeared, so clear and dark and you didn't have to squint to see it.  On this test there were two other tests from two different brands (all in one), and those too turned positive.  I was pregnant!  I was thinking how the chances of a boy are high because it was on the tail end of ovulation, and I told Shawn but don't recall the exact words.  I just remember wishing that he was there when I tested, but I thought it would be negative (I still occasionally take an OPK, just to see if there's any HCG hormone).

I feel peaceful about next month coming after AF arrives, and I feel a sense of peace believing that somehow ovulation was caught even though a positive wasn't seen or at least realized.  That a conception did occur, and a baby did attempt to start growing, but for whatever reason the journey towards becoming a a formed baby stopped.  I'm not sure why I feel more peace knowing that conception occurred rather then not at all, maybe it's because it COULD have worked this month but that option was stopped rather then me missing ovulation.

I do hold a bit of hope that pregnancy did still occur this month, and that we'll see those two lines still, but it's doubtful.

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